- Corey Darnell, Sr.: I guess my dad's cool. According to him, I'm "the responsible one." My father knows nothing.
- Cecelia Darnell: I guess my mum's cool (is that what all parents are labeled now? Cool?). She's really busy and yet she still manages to procrastinate. She never ceases to amaze me.
- Mallory Darnell: You know what sucks? When you don't get along with your sister 99% of the time, and when you want to actually fix the thing, she's just gone. Thanks a lot, Aunt Martha. Mal, if you're reading this, stop being smart. Go home and give me a hug.
- Corey Darnell, Jr.: First of all, I think my older brother has a very original name. Second of all, I look nothing like him, so don't ask how he's my brother. He just is. Get over it. Third of all, he likes Degrassi. I don't even know what that is, and I don't bother, but I just thought you guys should know.
- Jade Darnell: Even if she's adopted, we get along pretty well, since we're both sarcastic. She's a little bit more sarcastic than I am, but I'm sassier and more fabulous than she is, so I guess we're just quits. I don't understand why she isn't close with any of our other siblings, though. I mean, we are family.
- Adelle Darnell: My older sister. We look kind of related, so it's pretty obvious. She's the cray-cray and weird one. Sometimes she makes me want to put her in a mental hospital, but that's just normal for us because Mum and Dad had her tested. She is, in fact, cray-cray.
- Zoey Darnell: Now don't get me wrong, I love Aunt Martha. But now I'm starting to feel as if she's plotting something because she is slowly taking each and every one of my family members and it's not fair because Zoey is - or rather, was - my homework buddy. Zoey was my homework buddy and fangirl buddy and she's just really nice and an amazing sister but I feel like she never told me anything which is probably why she left.
Hey, any of you remember the saying 'be careful what you wish for because it might just come true'? Well I do and I'm just really glad my little sister is back. I missed her too much. I feel almost complete.
- Cam: He's Corey's dog. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I don't see why we couldn't name the dog 'Cat' or 'Rooster' or something but it's Corey's dog, not mine. So yay I don't have to take care of it.
- Kitty Bennet: If it wasn't obvious enough, Kitty Bennet is a cat. She's so cuddly and fluffy. She's Mal's, so you probably shouldn't, uhm, take the cat or anything. Mallory is possessive when it comes to Kitty. She probably named her cat Kitty Bennet as a reference to Lydia's cat in The Lizzie Bennet Diaries. Either that or she really really likes Pride and Prejudice. I wonder how that silly old cat's doing.